The very ugly duckling 2.0

Healing Isn’t a One-Time Event (And It’s Not Always Pretty)

We’re often fed stories about healing that feel simple, clean, and linear.
The tadpole becomes a frog.
The caterpillar becomes a butterfly.
The ugly duckling becomes a swan.

It’s neat. It’s tidy. It’s beautiful.

But here’s the thing: healing doesn’t work like that.

These metaphors suggest a single, dramatic transformation. One big before and after. One magical moment when everything shifts and suddenly… you're whole, you're beautiful, you're done.

But that’s not how it really works. At least, not for most of us.

Real healing is layered. Ongoing. Cyclical.

It’s not about how you look on the other side.
It’s not about becoming more palatable, more polished, more Instagram-worthy.

Healing might leave you with scars—visible or not.
It might bring you face-to-face with grief, anger, shame, or fear you’ve been carrying for decades.

It’s not about putting on a mask to show the world that you're “doing great now.”
And it’s definitely not about a fairy tale ending where a kiss, a breakthrough, or a milestone magically fixes everything.

This isn’t a beast becoming a prince.
This isn’t the clouds parting after one good cry.
This isn’t a single phoenix flame.

This is the ugly duckling that just… became a regular duck.
And that’s still valid. That’s still worthy. That’s still healing.

Because healing isn’t about glamor—it’s about authenticity.

It’s about becoming more of your true self, over and over again, even if that version doesn’t fit into society’s idea of “healed.”

Healing is not a finish line. It’s a rhythm.

It’s a snake shedding its skin again and again as it grows.
It’s a phoenix burning and rising—not once, but every time life throws another fire.
Because life doesn’t stop.

Your partner might leave.
Your job might crumble.
Your past might get triggered all over again.
Storms will come—again.

And no, I’m not here to put that fire out for you.
I’m not here to shield you from life or make it all smooth.

I’m here to show you that you can walk through the fire yourself.
And maybe—just maybe—learn to use a controlled burn.
So things don’t get out of hand again.

The truth is: this healing journey you’re on doesn’t have a destination.
It’s not something you complete.
It’s a path you walk for the rest of your life—with more awareness, more tools, and more compassion for yourself each time around.